happy thursday! {ed.7}

Ever been woken up at an unthinkable time by a not-so-nice patron? Not fun, huh?! Sadly, this is how my Thursday began. But there was no way I was going to let that ruin my Thursday! NO-SIR-EE! It's my duty for all of planet Earth (especially ya'll!) to be in a joyous mood on Thursdays. It's a heavy load, but someone's gotta do it....
Leave it to my favorite T.V. show, Scrubs, to turn a blasé day into something incredible:

Watch this whenever the forecast of below-par day looms near. I promise it will brighten your day!

Current Female Crush:

Kim Zolciak-Bierrman

Her show, Don't Be Tardy For The Wedding is my new guilty pleasure! She is funny, a loving mother to 3 (another on the way) and isn't afraid to be herself. She is a straight-talking Georgia Peach who loves diamonds like no one I have ever seen before! Watch her show tonight at 6:30 on Bravo! She is revealing her real hair for the first time on tonight's show. YES, THAT IS A WIG SHE IS WEARING! Crazy, right? Guuuurrrl, you make me wish I could rock dem wigs just like chuuu.

Current Male Crush:

Dr. Mehmet Oz

The epitome of man, I tell you. He recieved his undergraduate from Harvard Univeristy no big deal  then went on to obtain an MD  from the University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine and The Warton School. He is a duel American-Turkish citizen, getting his Turkish citizenship by serving in the Turkish military. He is a Cardiovascular surgeon, husband, father and advocate of a healthy lifestyle. On his show he had a colonoscopy preformed which revealed he had a pre-cancerous polyp; by doing that it saved his life. Dr. Oz, you are the man of my dreams. Knowledge is sexy. endofstory.

Current Tune:

Waiting on the World to Change by John Mayer

This is Dr. Oz's favourite song. And by default now it is mine too.... See Mehmet, we have SO MUCH in common. Maybe wanna catch a John Mayer concert then get married? Okay cool, see you there baby cakes!

Current Quote:

Happy Thursday!

a haunting:

One of the Cutillo Family's favourite pastimes is ghost-hunting.

Cue the gasps and exiting out of my blog, saying "what a grievous activity!". We are who we are. Send us to the gallows. Whatev.

For those of you who decided to be loyal, un-judgmental friends and continued to read on, I thank you and send my undying love to you and expect an Academy Awards style swag-bag in the mail within 4-5 business days. now you haterz are eating your words, eh?!

This all traces back to one fateful day where my father, sister and myself had nothing to do and decided to watch documentaries on ghosts. 7 hours and two boxes of Cheez-Its later we were hooked. We came to realize that the town my father lived in was home to some very creeeeeepy places. We got our ghost-hunting gear and set out in hopes of documenting some of these gouls on camera. You could say were the next Dr. Peter Venkman, Dr.Ray Stanz and Dana Barrett! Wait, you don't know what movie I am referencing? Dear baby orange grove, you've been deprived!

Our favourite haunt (see what I just did there?! I just used a figure of speech that actually applies to what I am talking about! So clever, so clever I say! Kay, I'm done.) was the Old Mental Hospital. As we drove up to that huge,brick house we all got that deep-pit feeling that something isn't quite right within those walls.. 

Needless to say we were too scared to ever get out of the car...

But a ton of amazing ghost-hunting can be done from the inside of a motor vehicle, right?

My older sister ended up snapping a last minutes picture as my dad sped away (after me screaming, "GO DAD! GO! THE GHOST IS RUNNING TOWARDS THE CAR! iwaslying, btw) in which there was a silhouette of a woman standing in the top bedroom window. I wish I could show it to you all to prove of it's existence, but sadly I do not think that we've made it to that level in our relationship where I trust you enough.... Maybe one day we will reach that point where I divulge all of the Cutillo Family ghost secrets, but don't count on it.

Just the other day we visited the Old Mental Hospital. It still radiates the heebie-geebies that can turn a woman back into her 7-year old self...

Don't let the charming, suburbia street names fool you. Scary things dwell in this intersection!

That smile? Yeah, it is fake.It is just me masking my immense fear! See those clenched fists? Ready to attack if a ghost pops up from behind me!

After we got the heck outta dodge we found refuge in a near-by park where we processed how it felt to go back to the place where so many fun childhood memories were made. And something tells me a couple of the ghosts may have possessed us...

But then again, we are just weird regardless of being possessed by a ghost.

You don't have to believe me, but be sure to sleep with a night light from now on folks. Bwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah.

that one trip to wal-mart that completely ruined my reputation:

Can I be honest with you all? I disdain Wal-Mart with burning passion. It is up there with my dislike of mushrooms, terrorists, Kim Kardashian and mean people...
There has never (nor will there ever) been a time where I willingly said, "YEAH! Let's go to Wal-Mart!" Personally, I like to avoid situations where I will be misreable and think thoughts of hurting those around me and for some reason those thoughts just flood my mind while there; I just stay away for the greater good.
Want to know just a few of my very legitimate reasons as to why I believe that place (said with a tone of disgust) should be extinct from Planet Earth? Here they are:

1. The traffic. Why in the world does every horrible driver in the continental U.S. decide to gather in the Wal-Mart parking lot?!? Seriously guys, I am confused. Every time I go there I am stuck in traffic that makes traffic on the I-5 seem like child's play. I.KID.YOU.NOT.
2. The atmosphere. The concrete walls, the falling down signs signifying **"5 pounds of Ground Beef for 3.50!" and the tight, condensed aisles are not inviting! Add in the airport-amount of people that are tightly packed in there like sardines and BAM! I am in a full-fledged anxiety attack.
3. The people. Hey now, pump the brakes! I am not saying everyone that goes to that place is a horrible person! NOT WHAT I AM SAYING AT ALL! All I am saying is when I go to that place I try to not look at anyone in fear that my eyes will see portions of skin that I wish to not see. That's all I am saying.

I could go on and on, but I have have self-control. Unlike when I am in that parking lot, shouting at the drivers... Uh oh. Moving on.....
Well my disdainment for that place increased in grievous amounts just recently, here's the story:

I was sent to pick up a few items on a shopping list my Stepmomma wrote for me-all of which were items for the cute, little triplet siblings-a list that I didn't read until I began shopping (first mistake.) After I had picked up their food, diapers and other toddler-related things they are so high matinence I finally looked at the last item on the list. It said "Monistat 7 for their diaper rash."  I thought to myself, "Hmm, okay. Whatever that is!" Then proceeded to look for it... For fifteen minutes. Where was that pesky item? Geeze louise! Finally I found it and I then thought to myself, "Why in the world is it in this aisle? That's peculiar..." As I was waiting in line in one of the three open check-out stations out of the total seventeen stations (seriously, Wal-Mart? If they are there, use 'em. Stop teasing me!) My eyes began to wander and I saw what was written on the Monistat 7 box. My heart dropped. My throat tightened. My hands got sweaty.

It's not my place to tell you what is on that box for many reasons. One of which is I don't know if children read this blog and the other is because I am trying to forget what I saw...

I was getting closer to the counter and I had to think, and think quick! I had half the mind to throw the box out of the cart and tell my Stepmom that the company went out of business and they no longer make products! Alas, I put on my big-girl pants and faced the music, unloading it onto the strip. Right when she rang it up (I was quite particular in my choice of check-out clerk... They had to be a woman or else this would be worse than need be...) I blurted out very quickly and heavily, "You know... That isn't for me! It's for my little brother....." She lifted up her eyebrow, confused. ".....for his diaper rash! I had no clue what that thing is for until this moment! I am simply running errands. DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER, RIGHT? **nervous laugh to lighten the mood**" She proceeded to give me a sympathy laugh and say that if I wouldn't have said anything she would have never noticed. I still don't believe her because how can you NOT notice what is on that box, but I am still thankful that she was understanding about it...

Wal-Mart stinks in general, especially when you go there to pick up an item that you had no clue as to what it's purpose was....
Believe me, it's better not to know....

**For some reason that so-called "deal" seems a little iffy to me... Put the ground beef down and walk away. You and your stomach will thank me later.

meltdown in the movie theater

Remember when I left you the seat-gripping, cliff hanger about part 2 of mine and Christian's blissfully unplanned night here? Well I am a woman of my word, people! Ask and you shall recieve.

After getting back from that forsaken bowling game where I not only lost, but did so looking like a cherry attacked my face and unknowingling wearing fuzzy socks that should have never seen the outside of my knee-high boots; I am so put-together, aren't I?; Christian, Sheri (my old roommate) and I decided to go to Christian's humble abode (If you have lived in Heritage Halls you know when I say humble, I mean humble) and make brownie pazookies.
Waaaait, you're meaning to tell me you've never had a brownie pazookie?!?!?! Sit down, child! Let Mama Em tell you how the best way to thicken up so dem Southern boys will fall in love with you!

Brownie Pazookie

You'll need:

-One box of brownie mix

-Whatever the box calls for (I think you are all competent enough to not have me walk you through all of this!)

-8x8 pan

-1/2 gallon of BYU Creamery LaVell's Vanilla ice cream (Go big if you'd like... We were just trying to be healthly. HA HA HA)

To make:

-Make the brownie mix according to the box.

-Put in the oven for 9-10 minutes. The key to a pazookie is to have the brownie/chocolate chip dough/whatever other base soft and slightly uncooked.

-Take out, making sure that is it not too soggy.

-While warm put the vanilla ice cream on top! (I don't even take it out of the pan! Just turn on your animalistic instincts and eat outta the pan folks!)

YUUMMMMM-EEEEE!

After gorging  eating our pazookies in a delicate manner we sat in Christian's kitchen, turned off the lights, stopped talking and listened to music. It was Christian's idea... He said that people are beginning to loose what music really is and that sometimes you've just got to sit down, block out the world and listen. Simply listen. My oh my was that chap right! It was beautiful, it left us all feeling refreshed and by having a refreshed, open-mind a brilliant idea popped into my head! Because I am chalk full of those, right?!? AM I RIGHT?! CAN I GET AN AMEN?! ................I am staring to believe the crickets are my only friends.

My idea was to go see The Vow, right away. Mind you, it was 10:15 at this point in time and I knew that I had some serious convincing to do to. Christian wasn't too pumped on the idea... I don't know why though? I thought all guys loved Rom Coms... Especially ones with Channing Tatum... Especially ones in which Channing Tatum takes off his shirt... I'm wrong?! Whatev. After a whole lot of convincing he decided he just couldn't stand to see me beg and plead anymore so he caved in. Just like that Sheri, Christian, myself and our other roommate, Mallory jumped in the car and jetted to the movie theater! I bet Christian was just so completley excited to be walking into The Vow with three girls, one of which kept holding onto his arm saying, "Are you excited, or what?!?! I am so excited! Christian! Answer me! Are ya?! ARE YA?!?!?!?!?" thatwasme.

As the movie progressed and Rachel McAdams's continued to be Miss Jerky-Jerk Pants to Channing (first name basis, no big deal) my tear ducts began to well up. I kept my ducts in check the entire movie, making sure to not shed a tear but the last 4 minutes of the movie something happened... something grave. I cried like I have never cried in a movie before. I repeat, LIKE I NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

Deep, deep sobs. Tears uncontrollably pouring out. Wiping those uncontrollable tears on my white, Columbia fleece. Making that gasping sound when you begin to stop breathing while crying. Making that sound to try and cover up that gasping sound that ends up sounding like a dying whale... Curling into fetal position.

Meanwhile Christian was trying to watch the movie but kept looking over at me to make sure that I was not choking on my tongue...Thankfully I didn't, but my sounds would beg to differ... Once the movie ended I got up and dashed to the bathroom. Running down the movie theater hall with tear-clouded eyes made me look like a drunkard who couldn't run a straight line, but thankfully I made it to the bathroom where I dramatically splashed water on my face and then slid down the wall with my hand in my hair (i am kidding about the last part, I just wanted to be all theatrical and such!)

Once I was done with my pity party where I pretended like I had just lost my memory I walked out to find Christian in the hall with the most concerned look on his face, after a few seconds of silence, not knowing if he should say anything worried that he might throw me back into my fit of tears, he proceeded to say: "Emily... I have never seen a human being cry like you/as much as you just did."

I'm taking that as an accomplishment.

Learn to love what's good for you, Rachel. Ungrateful woman.

P.S. I ruined that cute Columbia fleece.

happy thursday! {ed 6}

I think that we have reached that momentous point in our relationship where you all know by now of my deep love for Thursdays... (pssst... If you have already forgotten like that one time when you didn't bring me flowers on Valentine's day don't worry! Just click the words and BAM! your memory will come flashing back to you!) And as of late, this love has become even more bountiful in my heart due to the fact that Thursdays were my dearest friend, Christian, erm, I mean, Elder Sagers P-Day.  Is it coincidental that my all-time favorite day was turned into his preparation day? I think not. I believe their was an orchestrator to all of this whom so kindly planned it all out this way knowing that it would give me even something more to look forward to every Thursday!

Well, friends, this was Elder Sagers last P-day on a Thursday in the MTC as of now! (enter a deep exhale of sadness with the lower lip jutting out... Wait, this isn't gaining your sympathy?! It was always a charmer when I was 7!) He is off to Charlotte, North Carolina until he recieves his Visa then he will jet off to Sweden! I am bursting at the seams with happiness for this boy! I can't wait for him to get to Charlotte... But I cannot wait even more for him to finally get to the land of the Swedes! I also cannot wait to find out when his P-Day is so until I see his next email home I will re-read all of his previous emails to the point where I will be able to recite lines from them!  I mean... Umm...You know, to work on my Swedish... Ya, I'll go with that one.

NOW BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING:

Current female crush:

Heather Dubrow.

The newest housewife to the cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County. (a.k.a my biggest indulgence!) Maybe I like her so much because she is the only one in the group that is anti-drama. Maybe it is because she sees through phony women in a blink of an eye (you know who you are, Alexis Bellino! *cough cough) Maybe it is is because she is a woman of class who chooses sophistication over the usual-how do I say this without offending someone.... trashy and overdone O.C. ways. Or maybe it is because she is the only brunette of the group. Us brunettes gotta stick together...

Current male crush:

Liam Neeson.

This man is amazing. AHHH-MAAAYYY-ZIIIING! Not only is he an excellent actor, father, philathropist and forever hottie, but this man is a widower which has my heart swell for him. He is so strong and so suave. I really cannot get enough. For pete sakes, he fought Alaskan wolves in his last movie... WITH HIS BARE HANDS! I think it is safe to say based on his movie career that no one messes with Liam; NO ONE... not even wolves.

Current tune:

For what it's worth by Buffalo Springfield.

I don't think anything I say could make this classic even better than it already is... So I will leave you with that^^.

Current quote:

"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”

-Kahili Gilbran

Wise, wise words Mr. Gilbran.

HAPPY THURSDAY!
**I know I promised in my last post that my next post (which would be this one if you are having a hard time keeping up...) would be part 2 of mine and Christian's adventure. Hold on tight, dear friends! You will have to exert that patience that mommy dearest taught you all when you were kiddos! Wait, she never did? You never heard "patience is a virtue"?! Oooookay, this is awkward....

where's the bowling alley food?!

Remember my dearest best friend who is now a missionary almost in Sweden, Christian?! Because I sure do!

Golly gee, not a day passes that I do not think of his HILLL-ARRRR-IIII-OUS sense of humor (boy oh boy did he always have me a laughin'! And let me tell you folks, I have a particular taste of funny that he knows all too well!) his always-to-dapper clothing choices (we always got looks walking around and all the glory goes dear Christian. Although I have to say our stylish manners complimented one another :}) his sweet and sincere personality that was a constant source of companionship (I sure do miss our Friday nights that involved use swapping our favorite music videos and *a baked good made by yours truly was always thrown into the mix!) I also miss his **handsome face. Sigh...But that is beyond the point... Another sigh...
sorryicannothelpmyself.

Gee-wilikers! I sure went off on a tangent! Anywho, what was I saying?! Ahh yes! Christian. Chrrrriiiissstiannn! (I'm about to start again, aren't I?! Goodness gracious Emily! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!) Deep breath.... Focus, Emily, Foooo-Cuss. Okay. I'm back and ready!

I had a walk-down-memory-lane moment where I stumbled upon these gems from a day back in early February. Me and my roommate Sheri were completley, out-of-our mind bored (because the fast-paced life of a BYU student is so blase, right?! KIDDING!) and decided to live on the edge! Our idea of living on the edge was staying in PJs all day long with no make-up. By 4 O'clock our day of livin' on the wild side was getting a bit...how do I say this...boring? So we threw on some clothes, refused to put on make-up (quite liberating!) and fast-tailed our way to Christian's apartment. I stood out in front of his kitchen window, called him, proceeded to see him answer the phone (I am so creepy, it is slighty comical.. Give me some sympathy laughs as you say to yourself, "WOOOW! What a bonafide creeper/peeping Tom! Get a life and stop looking in boy's windows!") and told him to come on down and come bowling with us! And of course, he agreed, making this day one for the books! Or for the blog... Whatev. I'm done.

HOLD THE PHONE! DON'T CALL THE FASHION POLICE! LET ME EXPLAIN!

In threw on knee-high boots in our fast-paced dressing to get out the door and put these bad boys on because 1)they are warm and cozy and my feet cannot stand the Utah, February chill and 2)no one sees your socks in knee-high boots! Or so I thought....
Once I took off my boots and realized what choice of sock I had on I decided to throw caution to the wind and said "AWW SHUCK! CARPE DIEM, YA'LL!"

Another explanation: My true colors were shown (literally and figuratively! Look at my red face! Jeepers, acne cream! You've turned me into a cherry-faced freak!) and my competitive-win-at-all-cost-even-if-that-means-shouting-at-Christian-for-getting-a-better-score-than-me came out to play.

Despite my heinous look of horror and Christian's look of half-surprise-half-what-the-heck-am-I-doing-here-with-this-freak, this picture makes oh so unbelievably happy. One heck of a team we are, him and I. One heck of a team...

Even though Christian (or should I now refer to him as his new moinker, Elder Sagers oo-la-la!) beat all of us I still had an excellent time livin' life on the wild side! You know, it isn't that often that I put my planner down and decide partake in an un-penned activity!

............I also still believe he cheated because he was enrolled in a bowling class that semester.

There is only one way to solve this debacle... REMATCH... IN TWO YEARS! Be prepared, buddy boy, I'm coming back with a vengance!

Tune into my next post to find out what we did once we finished bowling. And let me tell you, our activity was definitely one to remember hehehehehehehehehehehehe! I must have you all hanging off the edge of your seats with you mouths watering for me to tell you what this little inside joke is! Don't I? DON'T I?!?!

*I have come to the realization that Christian and his roommates only loved me for my skills in the kitchen... Every day I seemed to bake something new then send it on over to his apartment! He fully believed that it was my plan to plump him up before his mission with my delectable, sugary, homemade-and-straight-from-the-heart baked goods. But even with that thought he didn't let that get in the way of eating them though... (BWHAHAHAHA! enter evil laugh as I spin in my swivel chair with my fingers tapping one another!)

**Much respect/gratitude to Brother and Sister Sagers for having such a looker of a son! 

a fully-obliged inconvience:

Today marks the 6th time I've been to the mall in the past 10 days...
I know what you are all thinking... "Golly gee! That sure must waste a lot of gas!" just play along and nod your head, saying "yes Emily! that's exactly what we were thinking! what a shopaholic freak! (cough cough.)
But last time I checked, the word wasting has a negative connotation and we all know the mall, nay, the beacon of all that is glorious, does not deserve a negative connotation labeled on it! C'mon now folks! It is just like you and me... It requires some TLC and hates being lonely! Don't worry all, I have put the heavy burden upon myself and decided to be the one to facilitate to it's need!

For the sake of the mall, people! and for those Steve Madden boots...the gorgeous Smashbox lipstick color...those exotic. dangly earrings with precious stones... and that cute purse in Macy's...


It's a hard job... But I am willing and able to be the one sacrificing! I'm so unbelievably giving, right? pssssst: it is in your best interest to agree.

Heavy lifting, I tell you! Woe is me! Boo-hoo! Bah-humbug! Mamma mia! Gee wilikers! Okay guys I am running low on complaints...

Another "inconvience" that crossed my path today was the one... the only... THE CANNOLI! Let's be honest ya'll.... I am Italian and that includes a hefty appetite for anything that stems from my homeland!

I know, I know....I need to work on my self-contol! You are preaching to the choir here, I am trying!! But hey! Can you blame me when all of this is thrown into the game?! No, no you can't because you would do the same if you were in my shoes! Which are stylin', if I do say so myself...