ice ice baby

This is a non-judging, friendly and all-inviting environment, right? Riiiiiigght?
Okay, good. Because since you signed in your blood (a la Professor Umbridge style) that you would love me for me when logging into this blog oh, you don't remember? Hehehe, I may have jogged your memory...Ooppsie daisy! I feel comfortable in admitting this to you: Vanilla Ice has been on the top 3 list of things on my mind for the past 2 days. stopjudgingme.


In the midst of me washing the dishing today also the prime time to sing "Ice Ice Baby" to myself it dawned on me... One of the most impacting thoughts that has ever entered my mind... One that has completely changed how I look at life... I finally realized how cool Vanilla Ice's name is.


I do not understand how it passed me, truly. I am the one who spots errors in movies that the editor missed. The one who corrects grammar like nobodies' bussiness. The one who sees every.minute.detail.

BUT THIS!?!?! how could i miss something so marvelous?!
Think about it...
Vanilla:
Buttery-smooth flavor. Comes in every possible form.. Even car air fresheners. The most popular, collective flavor on this planet as of 2012.

Ice:
Instant cool factor. Any drink without it is dismal. It's like magic!

PUT THEM TOGETHER...
And not only do you have a suuuuhh-weet combination of sugary sweet and ice cold, but a name that is so hardcore that all da homiez in Long Beach wish they were reppin'it. too much?


In honor of my man, Vanilla, (yeah, we are THAT close that he lets me shorten his name. Nbd) we decided to cook MC's like a pound of bacon Wait. You don't get that song reference? Either google it or leave, NOW. and had a crazy dope (another Ice reference!) dance party with Vanilla's hottest jam pumpin' through the house speakers.

Even my two year old brother got down with his bad self.

It was that crazy.

meltdown in the movie theater

Remember when I left you the seat-gripping, cliff hanger about part 2 of mine and Christian's blissfully unplanned night here? Well I am a woman of my word, people! Ask and you shall recieve.

After getting back from that forsaken bowling game where I not only lost, but did so looking like a cherry attacked my face and unknowingling wearing fuzzy socks that should have never seen the outside of my knee-high boots; I am so put-together, aren't I?; Christian, Sheri (my old roommate) and I decided to go to Christian's humble abode (If you have lived in Heritage Halls you know when I say humble, I mean humble) and make brownie pazookies.
Waaaait, you're meaning to tell me you've never had a brownie pazookie?!?!?! Sit down, child! Let Mama Em tell you how the best way to thicken up so dem Southern boys will fall in love with you!

Brownie Pazookie

You'll need:

-One box of brownie mix

-Whatever the box calls for (I think you are all competent enough to not have me walk you through all of this!)

-8x8 pan

-1/2 gallon of BYU Creamery LaVell's Vanilla ice cream (Go big if you'd like... We were just trying to be healthly. HA HA HA)

To make:

-Make the brownie mix according to the box.

-Put in the oven for 9-10 minutes. The key to a pazookie is to have the brownie/chocolate chip dough/whatever other base soft and slightly uncooked.

-Take out, making sure that is it not too soggy.

-While warm put the vanilla ice cream on top! (I don't even take it out of the pan! Just turn on your animalistic instincts and eat outta the pan folks!)

YUUMMMMM-EEEEE!

After gorging  eating our pazookies in a delicate manner we sat in Christian's kitchen, turned off the lights, stopped talking and listened to music. It was Christian's idea... He said that people are beginning to loose what music really is and that sometimes you've just got to sit down, block out the world and listen. Simply listen. My oh my was that chap right! It was beautiful, it left us all feeling refreshed and by having a refreshed, open-mind a brilliant idea popped into my head! Because I am chalk full of those, right?!? AM I RIGHT?! CAN I GET AN AMEN?! ................I am staring to believe the crickets are my only friends.

My idea was to go see The Vow, right away. Mind you, it was 10:15 at this point in time and I knew that I had some serious convincing to do to. Christian wasn't too pumped on the idea... I don't know why though? I thought all guys loved Rom Coms... Especially ones with Channing Tatum... Especially ones in which Channing Tatum takes off his shirt... I'm wrong?! Whatev. After a whole lot of convincing he decided he just couldn't stand to see me beg and plead anymore so he caved in. Just like that Sheri, Christian, myself and our other roommate, Mallory jumped in the car and jetted to the movie theater! I bet Christian was just so completley excited to be walking into The Vow with three girls, one of which kept holding onto his arm saying, "Are you excited, or what?!?! I am so excited! Christian! Answer me! Are ya?! ARE YA?!?!?!?!?" thatwasme.

As the movie progressed and Rachel McAdams's continued to be Miss Jerky-Jerk Pants to Channing (first name basis, no big deal) my tear ducts began to well up. I kept my ducts in check the entire movie, making sure to not shed a tear but the last 4 minutes of the movie something happened... something grave. I cried like I have never cried in a movie before. I repeat, LIKE I NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

Deep, deep sobs. Tears uncontrollably pouring out. Wiping those uncontrollable tears on my white, Columbia fleece. Making that gasping sound when you begin to stop breathing while crying. Making that sound to try and cover up that gasping sound that ends up sounding like a dying whale... Curling into fetal position.

Meanwhile Christian was trying to watch the movie but kept looking over at me to make sure that I was not choking on my tongue...Thankfully I didn't, but my sounds would beg to differ... Once the movie ended I got up and dashed to the bathroom. Running down the movie theater hall with tear-clouded eyes made me look like a drunkard who couldn't run a straight line, but thankfully I made it to the bathroom where I dramatically splashed water on my face and then slid down the wall with my hand in my hair (i am kidding about the last part, I just wanted to be all theatrical and such!)

Once I was done with my pity party where I pretended like I had just lost my memory I walked out to find Christian in the hall with the most concerned look on his face, after a few seconds of silence, not knowing if he should say anything worried that he might throw me back into my fit of tears, he proceeded to say: "Emily... I have never seen a human being cry like you/as much as you just did."

I'm taking that as an accomplishment.

Learn to love what's good for you, Rachel. Ungrateful woman.

P.S. I ruined that cute Columbia fleece.

if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

The following conversation happened on July 18th, 2011:

Dad: "Emma, what computer did you need for school again? I need a quick refresher before I go and buy it."

Me: "A Macbook, Dad. A MACBOOK. (drawn and said in a volume that I am sure my 100 year old great-grandma could hear clearly.)

Dad: "Okay...A something book.(as he walks out of the door) I've got this. Yeah, it ends in book, that's easy!"

Me: Just remember it has a fruit on it, can't be hard to miss.

Did I ever mention that my father forgets easily?

Once he got to Best Buy he had forgotten (you know what a fifteen minute drive can do to the 50 year-old mind...) and told the worker to "package up the silver one."

Needless to say, he didn't come home with the macbook.

My dream for the past two years came true today.

I was sooooo happy that I almost cried. Almost.

I was as happy as a morbidly obese person who was just reunited with deep fried twinkies, a 7 year-old who just got there first box of assorted colored chalk, an granola woman from Oregon living in New York City who finds an all-organic grocery store, a girl who finally gets to see the boy she likes come home from his mission.......

You get the point.

Happy as a crawfish, oyster, sea lion, clam.... Whatever that phrase it.

Words to the wise: A memory that is nearly half a century needs some reminding.