MONDAYS ARE TOUGH...

believe me, i'd know.

not only do i have a two four page essays due by midnight, but combine that with the little-to-no sleep i got when i went down to california this weekend and i am in for one heck of a monday.

but you know what? you have the power to make any day better! this is what is making my monday a whole lot better :) and also what is making me laugh out loud in the library right now...

click play, scroll and smile :)

dubstep chemist. come on guys, i'm a nerd. of course i'd find this humorous! 

the real question- how many times did this happen before they had to put this sign up?

these lanky limbs can't move much...

those kardashians.....

if you're ever bored, draw eyebrows on your dog until their next bath.

lets make this monday awesome. after all, it is the only april 1, 2013 we will ever get.

if that doesn't make you consider your mortality then i don't know what will...

SUNDAY AFTERNOON CROQUET

here at liberty square we are a sophisticated folk. don't believe me? are you aware of any other apartment building in which croquet is played in the courtyard with preppy dress required? yeah, didn't think so ;)

 no paparazzi, please.

the elitests. 

want to join our prepster party? come on down to liberty when it is a warm sunday. you're sure to see us out and about! 

also, this is the prepster anthem. well mine at least. what's yours?

Young Folks -Peter Bjorn and John

skirt: target

denim shirt: old navy

lace top: target

shoes: famous footwear

the postal service

there are few things that bring out the 7th grade, "i'm in love with nick jonas" scream that i have masked within. actually that's a lie... i get excited by almost anything. but every day when i stroll to the mailbox at 11:35 that inner scream begins welling within my chest and i am then soon let down to see the daily savers coupons and mail for the *girls who used to live here. on occasion, those merry happy joyful occasions, that scream can finally come out and this week i had the opportunity to get a letter. not just your average letter. this one was exceptional. so exceptional that i decided i didn't need to do homework for the rest of the day! ..because i have that luxury, right?!?! pushing off my homework until the next day was well worth celebrating my letter all day. 

if you're mormon, a girl and writing close friends on their missions you will echo my declaration that letters are quite possibly the greatest things in the world! i don't get just letters; i get feelings and memories from far away places from some of my favorite people. so i think that my shrieks that ring through liberty square are completely justifiable when i get mail. donthateonme.

*girl from last year who still has a certain elder writing her: please let him know you no longer live here or i will write him and pretend to be you. WAIT! is this your way of "writing him off"??!?! never giving him your new address?? clever, clever girl. 

frolicking in floral

remember when you were in second grade and all of the hip girls had the lisa frank notebooks?! you know, the ones that had the cute polar bear with colorful penguins? the ones with white tigers who have a rainbow in the background?!?! wait, you don't remember? ......this is awkward.... 

well those notebooks are etched in my memory mainly because i lived for those notebooks (even though they barely stayed bound...ever.) what i am getting at is the other day i purchased floral pants and i finally feel like i am in the "in crowd" of college; just like i felt when my mother caved in and bought me those fabulously ghetto lisa frank notebooks. now i can be in cahoots with the rest of the stylin' women of BYU! look, i even am lounging like nobodies business. i guess i should be thanking my good friend, deon, for being the one who said i should buy them, :).

for those of you who knocked their heads and forgot every aspect of their childhood,

go here to see priceless images that will remind you of your youth.

let the reminiscing begin!

dream pick-up lines

BYU is the mecca of dating. end.of.story.


It's great, really. But with the multitude of glorious dating with handsome RMs comes the awkward "ask me out on a date" phase.
Come on boys... You can sooo tell that a female is into you when she asks where you went on your mission and once you tell her she replies with an, "OOO! How awesome! What language did you speak? Say something in enter foreign language for me!" *said in flirty, cooey voice*


So why can some of these boys men not catch the drift that we women put out?
The ones we want to ask us out rarely do, then we are left going out with the creepy guy that sits next to you in Honors Biology  who eats Cheddar Pringles during class then rubes his fingers on you thinking it is "flirtatious." i may or may not be speaking from experience...

I mean, I have a lot of things going against me.. Maybe that's why I am in this predicament. I am not obsessed with classic actresses like most, I enjoy science textbooks far too much, I watch romantic comedies pause them in order to comment on what is going on to myself, I refuse to follow the 5-second rule and I hate that waiting phase of asking out. Is there a place for me in this dating world?!?!

So here are my dream pick-up lines to use in order to avoid that dreaded phase:

• "Oh hey,wanna come to my apartment, make mac n' cheese and then watch Pride & Prejudice? I'll let you comment on Mr. Darcy the entire time."
• "Oh hey, wanna go to the mall, sit in the food court and people watch for an hour? Then we can hit up Sbarros pizza. I'll even get you a bread stick."
• "Oh hey, wanna go to the HBLL and actually study? We will go to the tiny nooks on the fourth floor and will only break once every two hours."
• "Oh hey, wanna have a movie night at my place where I'll invite all my friends and you can invite all of yours? Whoa, do you do your own nail art? It's so cool!"
• "Oh hey, do you want to see who can chug an entire water bottle in 30 seconds without stopping? I love how fresh your skin looks, by the way!"
• "Oh hey, do you want to help me plan a crazy, awesome prank on my roommate and then we will go get some frozen yogurt? Your blog is hilarious."
• "Oh hey, do you want to have a competition to see who can drive better with their knees?"

So until Mr. Casanova comes strolling along, using these lines, I will sit and watch Crazy, Stupid Love making sure I pause on that heavenly Ryan Gossling part.

Don't act like you don't know what part I am talking about. You know you liked it too.

meltdown in the movie theater

Remember when I left you the seat-gripping, cliff hanger about part 2 of mine and Christian's blissfully unplanned night here? Well I am a woman of my word, people! Ask and you shall recieve.

After getting back from that forsaken bowling game where I not only lost, but did so looking like a cherry attacked my face and unknowingling wearing fuzzy socks that should have never seen the outside of my knee-high boots; I am so put-together, aren't I?; Christian, Sheri (my old roommate) and I decided to go to Christian's humble abode (If you have lived in Heritage Halls you know when I say humble, I mean humble) and make brownie pazookies.
Waaaait, you're meaning to tell me you've never had a brownie pazookie?!?!?! Sit down, child! Let Mama Em tell you how the best way to thicken up so dem Southern boys will fall in love with you!

Brownie Pazookie

You'll need:

-One box of brownie mix

-Whatever the box calls for (I think you are all competent enough to not have me walk you through all of this!)

-8x8 pan

-1/2 gallon of BYU Creamery LaVell's Vanilla ice cream (Go big if you'd like... We were just trying to be healthly. HA HA HA)

To make:

-Make the brownie mix according to the box.

-Put in the oven for 9-10 minutes. The key to a pazookie is to have the brownie/chocolate chip dough/whatever other base soft and slightly uncooked.

-Take out, making sure that is it not too soggy.

-While warm put the vanilla ice cream on top! (I don't even take it out of the pan! Just turn on your animalistic instincts and eat outta the pan folks!)

YUUMMMMM-EEEEE!

After gorging  eating our pazookies in a delicate manner we sat in Christian's kitchen, turned off the lights, stopped talking and listened to music. It was Christian's idea... He said that people are beginning to loose what music really is and that sometimes you've just got to sit down, block out the world and listen. Simply listen. My oh my was that chap right! It was beautiful, it left us all feeling refreshed and by having a refreshed, open-mind a brilliant idea popped into my head! Because I am chalk full of those, right?!? AM I RIGHT?! CAN I GET AN AMEN?! ................I am staring to believe the crickets are my only friends.

My idea was to go see The Vow, right away. Mind you, it was 10:15 at this point in time and I knew that I had some serious convincing to do to. Christian wasn't too pumped on the idea... I don't know why though? I thought all guys loved Rom Coms... Especially ones with Channing Tatum... Especially ones in which Channing Tatum takes off his shirt... I'm wrong?! Whatev. After a whole lot of convincing he decided he just couldn't stand to see me beg and plead anymore so he caved in. Just like that Sheri, Christian, myself and our other roommate, Mallory jumped in the car and jetted to the movie theater! I bet Christian was just so completley excited to be walking into The Vow with three girls, one of which kept holding onto his arm saying, "Are you excited, or what?!?! I am so excited! Christian! Answer me! Are ya?! ARE YA?!?!?!?!?" thatwasme.

As the movie progressed and Rachel McAdams's continued to be Miss Jerky-Jerk Pants to Channing (first name basis, no big deal) my tear ducts began to well up. I kept my ducts in check the entire movie, making sure to not shed a tear but the last 4 minutes of the movie something happened... something grave. I cried like I have never cried in a movie before. I repeat, LIKE I NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

Deep, deep sobs. Tears uncontrollably pouring out. Wiping those uncontrollable tears on my white, Columbia fleece. Making that gasping sound when you begin to stop breathing while crying. Making that sound to try and cover up that gasping sound that ends up sounding like a dying whale... Curling into fetal position.

Meanwhile Christian was trying to watch the movie but kept looking over at me to make sure that I was not choking on my tongue...Thankfully I didn't, but my sounds would beg to differ... Once the movie ended I got up and dashed to the bathroom. Running down the movie theater hall with tear-clouded eyes made me look like a drunkard who couldn't run a straight line, but thankfully I made it to the bathroom where I dramatically splashed water on my face and then slid down the wall with my hand in my hair (i am kidding about the last part, I just wanted to be all theatrical and such!)

Once I was done with my pity party where I pretended like I had just lost my memory I walked out to find Christian in the hall with the most concerned look on his face, after a few seconds of silence, not knowing if he should say anything worried that he might throw me back into my fit of tears, he proceeded to say: "Emily... I have never seen a human being cry like you/as much as you just did."

I'm taking that as an accomplishment.

Learn to love what's good for you, Rachel. Ungrateful woman.

P.S. I ruined that cute Columbia fleece.

where's the bowling alley food?!

Remember my dearest best friend who is now a missionary almost in Sweden, Christian?! Because I sure do!

Golly gee, not a day passes that I do not think of his HILLL-ARRRR-IIII-OUS sense of humor (boy oh boy did he always have me a laughin'! And let me tell you folks, I have a particular taste of funny that he knows all too well!) his always-to-dapper clothing choices (we always got looks walking around and all the glory goes dear Christian. Although I have to say our stylish manners complimented one another :}) his sweet and sincere personality that was a constant source of companionship (I sure do miss our Friday nights that involved use swapping our favorite music videos and *a baked good made by yours truly was always thrown into the mix!) I also miss his **handsome face. Sigh...But that is beyond the point... Another sigh...
sorryicannothelpmyself.

Gee-wilikers! I sure went off on a tangent! Anywho, what was I saying?! Ahh yes! Christian. Chrrrriiiissstiannn! (I'm about to start again, aren't I?! Goodness gracious Emily! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!) Deep breath.... Focus, Emily, Foooo-Cuss. Okay. I'm back and ready!

I had a walk-down-memory-lane moment where I stumbled upon these gems from a day back in early February. Me and my roommate Sheri were completley, out-of-our mind bored (because the fast-paced life of a BYU student is so blase, right?! KIDDING!) and decided to live on the edge! Our idea of living on the edge was staying in PJs all day long with no make-up. By 4 O'clock our day of livin' on the wild side was getting a bit...how do I say this...boring? So we threw on some clothes, refused to put on make-up (quite liberating!) and fast-tailed our way to Christian's apartment. I stood out in front of his kitchen window, called him, proceeded to see him answer the phone (I am so creepy, it is slighty comical.. Give me some sympathy laughs as you say to yourself, "WOOOW! What a bonafide creeper/peeping Tom! Get a life and stop looking in boy's windows!") and told him to come on down and come bowling with us! And of course, he agreed, making this day one for the books! Or for the blog... Whatev. I'm done.

HOLD THE PHONE! DON'T CALL THE FASHION POLICE! LET ME EXPLAIN!

In threw on knee-high boots in our fast-paced dressing to get out the door and put these bad boys on because 1)they are warm and cozy and my feet cannot stand the Utah, February chill and 2)no one sees your socks in knee-high boots! Or so I thought....
Once I took off my boots and realized what choice of sock I had on I decided to throw caution to the wind and said "AWW SHUCK! CARPE DIEM, YA'LL!"

Another explanation: My true colors were shown (literally and figuratively! Look at my red face! Jeepers, acne cream! You've turned me into a cherry-faced freak!) and my competitive-win-at-all-cost-even-if-that-means-shouting-at-Christian-for-getting-a-better-score-than-me came out to play.

Despite my heinous look of horror and Christian's look of half-surprise-half-what-the-heck-am-I-doing-here-with-this-freak, this picture makes oh so unbelievably happy. One heck of a team we are, him and I. One heck of a team...

Even though Christian (or should I now refer to him as his new moinker, Elder Sagers oo-la-la!) beat all of us I still had an excellent time livin' life on the wild side! You know, it isn't that often that I put my planner down and decide partake in an un-penned activity!

............I also still believe he cheated because he was enrolled in a bowling class that semester.

There is only one way to solve this debacle... REMATCH... IN TWO YEARS! Be prepared, buddy boy, I'm coming back with a vengance!

Tune into my next post to find out what we did once we finished bowling. And let me tell you, our activity was definitely one to remember hehehehehehehehehehehehe! I must have you all hanging off the edge of your seats with you mouths watering for me to tell you what this little inside joke is! Don't I? DON'T I?!?!

*I have come to the realization that Christian and his roommates only loved me for my skills in the kitchen... Every day I seemed to bake something new then send it on over to his apartment! He fully believed that it was my plan to plump him up before his mission with my delectable, sugary, homemade-and-straight-from-the-heart baked goods. But even with that thought he didn't let that get in the way of eating them though... (BWHAHAHAHA! enter evil laugh as I spin in my swivel chair with my fingers tapping one another!)

**Much respect/gratitude to Brother and Sister Sagers for having such a looker of a son! 

Coming Clean:

I have some things to admit.

 You know how things work here. We're all friends, we don't judge, we have open minds.

Ke$ha has been my biggest fan during finals week. This song has been my pump-up jam before I take a final.

I don't know how you do it, Ke$ha, but somehow your words radiate to my soul...

(My favorite part is when she commands us to "go insane, go insane. throw some glitter, make it rain on 'em!!!")

I have been far too distracted by my nails the past two days. Every time I get bored of studying, I just stare at the glitter for fifteen minutes and BAM! I am ready to study again!

Preeeeetttttyyy collllloooooorssss.

I have a new-found crush on Dr. Dre.

Don't ask questions. Just admire.

I almost wept sweet, sweet tears last night when Lara and I watched Mean Girls.

I hadn't seen it in so long, yet I knew every.single.line. I even knew the pauses and song entrances. Kind of embarrassing you say? NO. KIND OF AWESOME!

Go on, give into temptation, stop studying for finals for a bit and watch this and say the lines along with me.

youknowyouwantto.

And my last confession of the day (which is the one I am the most ashamed of...)

is that for thirty miuntes this afternoon **I was distraught due to the fact the lady at Subway got my order wrong.

Seriously Subway? You lied to me. You told me I could have it MY WAY. And you lied, YOU LIED TO ME.

** I promise that I normally do not let that phase me, but I become an animal come final time. Word to the wise: stay clear.

Hey, I Think You're Pretty Awesome...

To you, Lara Schaumann for finding humor in my just-woken sense of delusion and me knocking into inanimate objects in our kitchen.

To you, 2 hour, late night boy talks with my beautiful neighbors.

To you, the people who wait for the little things because it will be "better when it actually happens." You know why I am thanking you, :)

To you, homemade buttermilk syrup that I made at 2 this morning. Nothing quite says "I love you, roommates" like having them wake up to that sugary substance. (Good luck on finals girls!)

To you, answers in the back of the book. You make my roommates' life thaaaat mush more easy; and by default mine as well.

To you, Ingrid Michaelson for always providing the opportunity to make up a love story where I am the female lead and a certain someone is Prince Charming in my head whenever one of your songs comes on.

To you, 47th ward who never failed to make my Sundays grand.

To you, whomever it was that sent off floating, lit lanterns taken from Tangled last night. It was sure romantic... Me and Sheri sure loooooved watching them; then we realized that we had no boys to watch it with and then it got awkward.

And to you, roommates who sing Wicked at the top of their lungs with me after Sunday dinner. With you guys, defying gravity is completely attainable (especially because our voices break all the barrier this world has. SORRY NEIGHBORS!)

You make my world brighter. You make me want to dance. And I think you're pretty awesome.

Insane in the Membrane.

Maybe because it is finals.

Maybe because I really haven't had a real night of sleep in ages.

Maybe it is because I am a crazy college freshman.

Maybe it is because I was born that way

but I have been feeling a little delusional lately.

(Probably because I was born that way...)

Instead of studying (yeah, still haven't done much since my last attempt.)

I have been wasting my precious time adding pictures to my "Funny & Dat Cool stuff" album on my computer. (YES. That is the actual name of a picture album in my computer. Don't judge, we are all friends here!)

Here are just a few, more than you'd like to see  some of my favorites.

 I imagine that his name is Fonzie. It makes this picture thaaaaat much better.

 A gem from here. Maybe if I focused like him these finals wouldn't be so tough.

 My face on every single rollercoaster.

 If my son brought his school picture back and he looked like this, I would be so unbelievably happy. You.don't.even.know. 

 

 Reason #47 as to why the brim goes in the front.

 Cannibalism is always funny;especially when a cutie like this does it.

 Looking into my soul.

Apparently they aren't too big of fans, either...

Learn some manners Aragon, gosh!

Seriously, R-Patz. You ain't foolin' nobody!

My wish, for all of you.

My life would be complete if they ceased to make music. Seriously.

 Amen, amen sister.

 My relflexes are at all time highs when this comes on. I don't think I ever move as fast as i do when i see this.

 Poor thing....

Obviously this teacher has NO SENSE OF HUMOR! C'mon now. Lighten up sista!

 So much more enjoyable when said in a high pitched voice.

 I've yet to see an attractive pre-sneeze face.

 I only wish to be as fierce as him. One day... One day.

 It's crazy to see how much a girl can change...

 Seriously Rachel McAdams? You are SO UNGRATEFUL!

Gets me every time!

This is Harry's world and we are all just living in it!

They aren't so scary after all!

OKAY. I'M FINISHED.

If you didn't laugh at those there is no way we could ever get along!

I'm serious.

If you are in need of a good laugh, just go here. I get a little slap-happy and post more than I should....

 No need to thank me. You're laughs are more than sufficient!