Since I've Been Home...

I have:

Reunited with my best friends :)

Got the trips hooked on unsafe games. Prime example: running around the house whilst sliding on a blanket. (I'm the cool older sister, btw)

Experienced rejection from my own blood. It stings...

Accepted a fault of mine.

OFFICIALLY SUBMITTED MY MISSION PAPERS!!!!!!!!!!

Met JB at the local Barnes & Noble.

..........kind of......

Actively began to live this motto.

Became a model with my Ken Doll. Just humor us, please.

Rocked the hair clip like nobodies' business  (If you know me, you know I rock this clip when I am home to keep my hair out of my face. #shorthairproblems)

And danced to this song too many times to count. The triplets love dancing to this tune, I oblige because I am a sucker for anything 90's and am super cool. AM I RIGHT?! OR AM I RIGHT?! Hello? Anyone?

Go on, dance all light to that DJ with me!!!!!!

the white album

you know paul mccartney played 'hey jude' at the olympic's opening ceremony
and despite me focusing intently on the great sir's performance,
i couldn't help but think of you.
mostly how completely excited you would be throughout the performance.
commenting on how paul was always the golden boy,
but george was still such an undercover cassanova.
how you would have thrown your head back,
let out your infamous chuckle of utter contentment,
and clasped your hands together when he invited the entire crowd to sing "na na na na na na naaaaa!"
probably saying something about the lasting effect their music has on people.
how he must have had everyone in that vast shakespeare stadium singing,
even that nostalgic wisher sitting on a comfy and worn couch in southern idaho.


you have that power that paul has whenever he sings, you know?

alive after five

in downtown boise every wednesday is something called alive after five.
music just the way i like it,
people dancing like no one is watching,
and good,
no great, pizza.

in the middle of watching the black lilies,
who were the perfect combination of bluegrass and soft rock,
might i add,
a fine gentleman caught my eye,
and it soon became apparent that i had done the same for him.
so as each song passed the gazes became longer,
and the tension increased.

as the john mayer look-a-like walked away it suddenly dawned on me;
i'm quite exhausted of the initiatory games that go along with flirting.
the whole, "i'm going to glance and smile and so are you but we both won't say anything." deal.
because really,
i knew nothing would ever come from gazing at john mayer look-a-like.
but i did it regardless,
and by doing so walked away feeling sad that no words were exchanged.
it is form of torture that instills copious amounts of hope,
and frankly i am tired of being a masochist.

what happened to the ones who make the first move?
who can pick-up on when a female is interested?
who make you feel as you should,
a feminine, darling of a woman who deserves to be chased?

oh that's right,
i know where those kind of fellas are.
sadly they are out of commission for a short-while.
until then,
i will be stuck in this awkward, limbo stage.
wish me luck,
i'm going to need it.

january 6th

i should have known everything would have changed when we met at that crosswalk.
it was just too picturesque. too fit to be in a romantic comedy.
all of our roommates chatting away, you and i, the lone wanderers falling behind noise.
laughing at the where i'm from. me gasping at where you were serving your mission.
me forgetting to call you.
you surpassing my expectations, somehow getting my number.
i just knew.

call me sentimental. over-emotional. silly. hopeless.
but i miss it all.

stopping by before curfew to drop off a picture of your good-side,
you laughing mercilessly at the fact it was a picture of the back of your head.
sitting by the fire on that first date.
your face when i told you about my color-association disorder.
you then asking me what color you name was. what color my name was. what color everything was.
calling randomly to see that swedish film that we both loved.
watching it,
i looked at you, and the realization dawned upon me that i could get used to this.
that man who said "she's italian, eh? they're feisty, but man they are downright gorgeous."
you, with a nod of affirmation, saying "yes, they sure are." then smiling at me.
me ranting and raving over swedish brownies,
green with envy that you get to eat them for the next two years.
arguing about which country made the better meatballs.
sitting on the couch, drinking, nay, eating, vanilla malts.
having dance parties with my roommates.
showing each other inventive music videos. each one topping the other.
having ping pong tournaments with the gang.
you laughing at me when i would throw the paddle across the room and declare i was done playing.
those starbursts. only writing on my favorite color,
you remembered everything.
watching youtube videos until you had to leave.
trying to teach me to ice skate. then realizing it would be a whole lot easier to just hold my hand.
being my dancing twin,
no one else can seem to match my elongated moves of fury.
sitting in the dark actually listening to music.
seeing late night movies against your will that you ended up enjoying.
being a better bowler than everyone in the group.
sitting over my shoulder as i played temple run on your ipad,
laughing at me when i shrieked with joy.
making your mom's soup for me after devotional.
leaving me notes by the door, teaching me slowly that texting isn't the only thing that matters.

i'll see you soon enough,
maybe we'll meet in chicago?
you know, because you love that city so dearly.
and because that was the song that was playing when you packed everything up from felt hall.
maybe in your next letter you'll send a ray of that scandinavian sun?

dream pick-up lines

BYU is the mecca of dating. end.of.story.


It's great, really. But with the multitude of glorious dating with handsome RMs comes the awkward "ask me out on a date" phase.
Come on boys... You can sooo tell that a female is into you when she asks where you went on your mission and once you tell her she replies with an, "OOO! How awesome! What language did you speak? Say something in enter foreign language for me!" *said in flirty, cooey voice*


So why can some of these boys men not catch the drift that we women put out?
The ones we want to ask us out rarely do, then we are left going out with the creepy guy that sits next to you in Honors Biology  who eats Cheddar Pringles during class then rubes his fingers on you thinking it is "flirtatious." i may or may not be speaking from experience...

I mean, I have a lot of things going against me.. Maybe that's why I am in this predicament. I am not obsessed with classic actresses like most, I enjoy science textbooks far too much, I watch romantic comedies pause them in order to comment on what is going on to myself, I refuse to follow the 5-second rule and I hate that waiting phase of asking out. Is there a place for me in this dating world?!?!

So here are my dream pick-up lines to use in order to avoid that dreaded phase:

• "Oh hey,wanna come to my apartment, make mac n' cheese and then watch Pride & Prejudice? I'll let you comment on Mr. Darcy the entire time."
• "Oh hey, wanna go to the mall, sit in the food court and people watch for an hour? Then we can hit up Sbarros pizza. I'll even get you a bread stick."
• "Oh hey, wanna go to the HBLL and actually study? We will go to the tiny nooks on the fourth floor and will only break once every two hours."
• "Oh hey, wanna have a movie night at my place where I'll invite all my friends and you can invite all of yours? Whoa, do you do your own nail art? It's so cool!"
• "Oh hey, do you want to see who can chug an entire water bottle in 30 seconds without stopping? I love how fresh your skin looks, by the way!"
• "Oh hey, do you want to help me plan a crazy, awesome prank on my roommate and then we will go get some frozen yogurt? Your blog is hilarious."
• "Oh hey, do you want to have a competition to see who can drive better with their knees?"

So until Mr. Casanova comes strolling along, using these lines, I will sit and watch Crazy, Stupid Love making sure I pause on that heavenly Ryan Gossling part.

Don't act like you don't know what part I am talking about. You know you liked it too.

meltdown in the movie theater

Remember when I left you the seat-gripping, cliff hanger about part 2 of mine and Christian's blissfully unplanned night here? Well I am a woman of my word, people! Ask and you shall recieve.

After getting back from that forsaken bowling game where I not only lost, but did so looking like a cherry attacked my face and unknowingling wearing fuzzy socks that should have never seen the outside of my knee-high boots; I am so put-together, aren't I?; Christian, Sheri (my old roommate) and I decided to go to Christian's humble abode (If you have lived in Heritage Halls you know when I say humble, I mean humble) and make brownie pazookies.
Waaaait, you're meaning to tell me you've never had a brownie pazookie?!?!?! Sit down, child! Let Mama Em tell you how the best way to thicken up so dem Southern boys will fall in love with you!

Brownie Pazookie

You'll need:

-One box of brownie mix

-Whatever the box calls for (I think you are all competent enough to not have me walk you through all of this!)

-8x8 pan

-1/2 gallon of BYU Creamery LaVell's Vanilla ice cream (Go big if you'd like... We were just trying to be healthly. HA HA HA)

To make:

-Make the brownie mix according to the box.

-Put in the oven for 9-10 minutes. The key to a pazookie is to have the brownie/chocolate chip dough/whatever other base soft and slightly uncooked.

-Take out, making sure that is it not too soggy.

-While warm put the vanilla ice cream on top! (I don't even take it out of the pan! Just turn on your animalistic instincts and eat outta the pan folks!)

YUUMMMMM-EEEEE!

After gorging  eating our pazookies in a delicate manner we sat in Christian's kitchen, turned off the lights, stopped talking and listened to music. It was Christian's idea... He said that people are beginning to loose what music really is and that sometimes you've just got to sit down, block out the world and listen. Simply listen. My oh my was that chap right! It was beautiful, it left us all feeling refreshed and by having a refreshed, open-mind a brilliant idea popped into my head! Because I am chalk full of those, right?!? AM I RIGHT?! CAN I GET AN AMEN?! ................I am staring to believe the crickets are my only friends.

My idea was to go see The Vow, right away. Mind you, it was 10:15 at this point in time and I knew that I had some serious convincing to do to. Christian wasn't too pumped on the idea... I don't know why though? I thought all guys loved Rom Coms... Especially ones with Channing Tatum... Especially ones in which Channing Tatum takes off his shirt... I'm wrong?! Whatev. After a whole lot of convincing he decided he just couldn't stand to see me beg and plead anymore so he caved in. Just like that Sheri, Christian, myself and our other roommate, Mallory jumped in the car and jetted to the movie theater! I bet Christian was just so completley excited to be walking into The Vow with three girls, one of which kept holding onto his arm saying, "Are you excited, or what?!?! I am so excited! Christian! Answer me! Are ya?! ARE YA?!?!?!?!?" thatwasme.

As the movie progressed and Rachel McAdams's continued to be Miss Jerky-Jerk Pants to Channing (first name basis, no big deal) my tear ducts began to well up. I kept my ducts in check the entire movie, making sure to not shed a tear but the last 4 minutes of the movie something happened... something grave. I cried like I have never cried in a movie before. I repeat, LIKE I NEVER HAVE BEFORE.

Deep, deep sobs. Tears uncontrollably pouring out. Wiping those uncontrollable tears on my white, Columbia fleece. Making that gasping sound when you begin to stop breathing while crying. Making that sound to try and cover up that gasping sound that ends up sounding like a dying whale... Curling into fetal position.

Meanwhile Christian was trying to watch the movie but kept looking over at me to make sure that I was not choking on my tongue...Thankfully I didn't, but my sounds would beg to differ... Once the movie ended I got up and dashed to the bathroom. Running down the movie theater hall with tear-clouded eyes made me look like a drunkard who couldn't run a straight line, but thankfully I made it to the bathroom where I dramatically splashed water on my face and then slid down the wall with my hand in my hair (i am kidding about the last part, I just wanted to be all theatrical and such!)

Once I was done with my pity party where I pretended like I had just lost my memory I walked out to find Christian in the hall with the most concerned look on his face, after a few seconds of silence, not knowing if he should say anything worried that he might throw me back into my fit of tears, he proceeded to say: "Emily... I have never seen a human being cry like you/as much as you just did."

I'm taking that as an accomplishment.

Learn to love what's good for you, Rachel. Ungrateful woman.

P.S. I ruined that cute Columbia fleece.

happy thursday! {ed 6}

I think that we have reached that momentous point in our relationship where you all know by now of my deep love for Thursdays... (pssst... If you have already forgotten like that one time when you didn't bring me flowers on Valentine's day don't worry! Just click the words and BAM! your memory will come flashing back to you!) And as of late, this love has become even more bountiful in my heart due to the fact that Thursdays were my dearest friend, Christian, erm, I mean, Elder Sagers P-Day.  Is it coincidental that my all-time favorite day was turned into his preparation day? I think not. I believe their was an orchestrator to all of this whom so kindly planned it all out this way knowing that it would give me even something more to look forward to every Thursday!

Well, friends, this was Elder Sagers last P-day on a Thursday in the MTC as of now! (enter a deep exhale of sadness with the lower lip jutting out... Wait, this isn't gaining your sympathy?! It was always a charmer when I was 7!) He is off to Charlotte, North Carolina until he recieves his Visa then he will jet off to Sweden! I am bursting at the seams with happiness for this boy! I can't wait for him to get to Charlotte... But I cannot wait even more for him to finally get to the land of the Swedes! I also cannot wait to find out when his P-Day is so until I see his next email home I will re-read all of his previous emails to the point where I will be able to recite lines from them!  I mean... Umm...You know, to work on my Swedish... Ya, I'll go with that one.

NOW BACK TO THE SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING:

Current female crush:

Heather Dubrow.

The newest housewife to the cast of The Real Housewives of Orange County. (a.k.a my biggest indulgence!) Maybe I like her so much because she is the only one in the group that is anti-drama. Maybe it is because she sees through phony women in a blink of an eye (you know who you are, Alexis Bellino! *cough cough) Maybe it is is because she is a woman of class who chooses sophistication over the usual-how do I say this without offending someone.... trashy and overdone O.C. ways. Or maybe it is because she is the only brunette of the group. Us brunettes gotta stick together...

Current male crush:

Liam Neeson.

This man is amazing. AHHH-MAAAYYY-ZIIIING! Not only is he an excellent actor, father, philathropist and forever hottie, but this man is a widower which has my heart swell for him. He is so strong and so suave. I really cannot get enough. For pete sakes, he fought Alaskan wolves in his last movie... WITH HIS BARE HANDS! I think it is safe to say based on his movie career that no one messes with Liam; NO ONE... not even wolves.

Current tune:

For what it's worth by Buffalo Springfield.

I don't think anything I say could make this classic even better than it already is... So I will leave you with that^^.

Current quote:

"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.”

-Kahili Gilbran

Wise, wise words Mr. Gilbran.

HAPPY THURSDAY!
**I know I promised in my last post that my next post (which would be this one if you are having a hard time keeping up...) would be part 2 of mine and Christian's adventure. Hold on tight, dear friends! You will have to exert that patience that mommy dearest taught you all when you were kiddos! Wait, she never did? You never heard "patience is a virtue"?! Oooookay, this is awkward....

where's the bowling alley food?!

Remember my dearest best friend who is now a missionary almost in Sweden, Christian?! Because I sure do!

Golly gee, not a day passes that I do not think of his HILLL-ARRRR-IIII-OUS sense of humor (boy oh boy did he always have me a laughin'! And let me tell you folks, I have a particular taste of funny that he knows all too well!) his always-to-dapper clothing choices (we always got looks walking around and all the glory goes dear Christian. Although I have to say our stylish manners complimented one another :}) his sweet and sincere personality that was a constant source of companionship (I sure do miss our Friday nights that involved use swapping our favorite music videos and *a baked good made by yours truly was always thrown into the mix!) I also miss his **handsome face. Sigh...But that is beyond the point... Another sigh...
sorryicannothelpmyself.

Gee-wilikers! I sure went off on a tangent! Anywho, what was I saying?! Ahh yes! Christian. Chrrrriiiissstiannn! (I'm about to start again, aren't I?! Goodness gracious Emily! GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!) Deep breath.... Focus, Emily, Foooo-Cuss. Okay. I'm back and ready!

I had a walk-down-memory-lane moment where I stumbled upon these gems from a day back in early February. Me and my roommate Sheri were completley, out-of-our mind bored (because the fast-paced life of a BYU student is so blase, right?! KIDDING!) and decided to live on the edge! Our idea of living on the edge was staying in PJs all day long with no make-up. By 4 O'clock our day of livin' on the wild side was getting a bit...how do I say this...boring? So we threw on some clothes, refused to put on make-up (quite liberating!) and fast-tailed our way to Christian's apartment. I stood out in front of his kitchen window, called him, proceeded to see him answer the phone (I am so creepy, it is slighty comical.. Give me some sympathy laughs as you say to yourself, "WOOOW! What a bonafide creeper/peeping Tom! Get a life and stop looking in boy's windows!") and told him to come on down and come bowling with us! And of course, he agreed, making this day one for the books! Or for the blog... Whatev. I'm done.

HOLD THE PHONE! DON'T CALL THE FASHION POLICE! LET ME EXPLAIN!

In threw on knee-high boots in our fast-paced dressing to get out the door and put these bad boys on because 1)they are warm and cozy and my feet cannot stand the Utah, February chill and 2)no one sees your socks in knee-high boots! Or so I thought....
Once I took off my boots and realized what choice of sock I had on I decided to throw caution to the wind and said "AWW SHUCK! CARPE DIEM, YA'LL!"

Another explanation: My true colors were shown (literally and figuratively! Look at my red face! Jeepers, acne cream! You've turned me into a cherry-faced freak!) and my competitive-win-at-all-cost-even-if-that-means-shouting-at-Christian-for-getting-a-better-score-than-me came out to play.

Despite my heinous look of horror and Christian's look of half-surprise-half-what-the-heck-am-I-doing-here-with-this-freak, this picture makes oh so unbelievably happy. One heck of a team we are, him and I. One heck of a team...

Even though Christian (or should I now refer to him as his new moinker, Elder Sagers oo-la-la!) beat all of us I still had an excellent time livin' life on the wild side! You know, it isn't that often that I put my planner down and decide partake in an un-penned activity!

............I also still believe he cheated because he was enrolled in a bowling class that semester.

There is only one way to solve this debacle... REMATCH... IN TWO YEARS! Be prepared, buddy boy, I'm coming back with a vengance!

Tune into my next post to find out what we did once we finished bowling. And let me tell you, our activity was definitely one to remember hehehehehehehehehehehehe! I must have you all hanging off the edge of your seats with you mouths watering for me to tell you what this little inside joke is! Don't I? DON'T I?!?!

*I have come to the realization that Christian and his roommates only loved me for my skills in the kitchen... Every day I seemed to bake something new then send it on over to his apartment! He fully believed that it was my plan to plump him up before his mission with my delectable, sugary, homemade-and-straight-from-the-heart baked goods. But even with that thought he didn't let that get in the way of eating them though... (BWHAHAHAHA! enter evil laugh as I spin in my swivel chair with my fingers tapping one another!)

**Much respect/gratitude to Brother and Sister Sagers for having such a looker of a son! 

A Farewell:

Last Sunday I had the joyous opportunity to go to Elder Christian Sagers' mission farewell.

(Ehem... The guy below if you couldn't guess.)

It was a beautiful day filled with so much love! I was truly sad to say goodbye to this amazing young man for two years... But being the good friend that I am I decided to loan him to the lucky people of Sweden for a couple of years (they promised to give him back in two years when he is taller, more handsome than he already is and overflowing with the spirit. **WINK WINK!**)

He didn't give me the memo that we were making funny faces! Thanks a lot Christian, now I look like I am trying too hard.

You know, just sheepishly looking down and pondering the many adventures he will go on in the land of the Swedes!

Wait.. is that camera pointing at us? Not sure.. Smile and wave just in case it is.

Sister Sagers is gorgeous. I am not worthy standing next to this hot mama in a picture, that's for sure!

iamnotworthyiamnotworthyiamnotworthy.

Flawless goodbye, eh? We know, we know. But what to you expect from two lanky & long individuals?!

Pshhhhh, I wasn't crying! I am no cry baby.. *Sniffle sniffle* I'm just staring into the sun.. Yeah, I'll go with that one. *Sniffle sniffle*

So even though you won't see this for two years, (hopefully you still want to be my blog's biggest fan when you come home), this one is for you, Elder Sagers. 

See you soon.